Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

I don't know about you but Christmas has gotten here very quickly and I feel like it will be here and gone and I won't know what happened. I hope that I can enjoy the time with friends and family and cherish the little moments that make this season special. It definitely takes a conscious effort.

I will be going to Denver for Christmas. I will drive me and Grandma over the mountain on Christmas Eve to spend it with my mom, her husband, my sister, and her boyfriend. I hope that the roads are clear by then. I find it very funny that the snow storm in Denver has gotten so much news and publicity. It is not so unusual for it to Blizzard like that. Things must be slow on the news front. It will definitely be a white Christmas for the state of Colorado. As much as I dislike driving in the snow and bad roads, I do like it when snow is blanketing the ground for Christmas. I definitely helps the mood :)

I pray that you all have a wonderful Christmas with friends and family. I pray that we are all reminded of the love, mercy, and grace of Christ as we celebrate His coming to us. I pray that His love will fill your hearts and that you will continually be filled with his Spirit throughout this New Year we are embarking upon.

Love and Hugs to you all.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Thankful on Thanksgiving

I found that there was a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

So here is my list: 1) God's provision: I was able to make Thanksgiving dinner and had the money to buy all the food and not stress 2) all the fam made it: mom and Al, Becky and her boyfriend, and my dad! 3) Al made it through the holidays and interacted more with us than ever before (miracle)! 4) amazing community of people (5 or 6 families came together on Thanksgiving and ate together) 5) A God that is in everything, who is faithful and good, and listens with perfect love and answers with our ultimate best at heart.

I wonder often why it is so hard to really tap into the essence of the holidays that we celebrate. It is so easy to go through the motions and lose sight of why we are doing what we are doing. When that happens the magic of the holidays is lost. In my job I have found that it is not always useful to focus on the "why". Like why did this happen to that person or why is this person the way that they are. It is much better to focus with people on "what and how". What is helping, how is your behavior helping or hindering you, what can we do to help right now. But with the holidays, I think it is important to ask why. Why are things important to us? I think sometimes understanding the "why" helps us to move into the "what and hows". So I guess the questions I keep asking myself are "how am I going to make this holiday season meaningful and not just go through the motions?" and "what does a meaningful holiday season look like?". Hmm....thoughts to ponder.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Latest

Well, on Friday my grandmother tripped and fell and gave herself a black eye on the right, cut her left ear, and hurt her left knee. To say the least it was quite a spill and was quite a scare. Praise God, she didn't break anything or crack her head open. But due to severely bruising her knee, she was pretty immobile Friday night and all day Saturday. Through this little episode, I realized a few things. I truly realized how independence can be taken to an extreme. My grandma wouldn't let me help her up even. I had to become bossy and strict in order for her to sit down and let me do stuff. Somehow, my grandmother was bossy, demanding, and independent all at the same time.

This I do know. God has me living with her for a reason. I think that one of the biggest reasons is to work on my heart. My grandma can get under my skin and tick me off faster than anyone in my life. I wanted to help her, but when you feel like you have to fight to do it, you start to resent what they ask you to do. It is so hard to have a servant heart when you feel like what you are doing is wrong and you are treated like you don't know anything. With my grandma, I know that she doesn't mean to come across that way, but the way that she says stuff and the tone of her voice evokes feelings that go against reasoning.

Here are some conclusions that I ended the weekend with: you have to let the person be (if they insist on doing things that are not the best, you have to let them deal with the consequences); it is essential to ask for help and let others help you (that is the beauty of interdependence); and
we have to take care of ourselves body, mind, and spirit (quality if far better than quantity).

On a more positive note, I did get to go visit a church that I think I will like. What I need most right now is good peer Christian fellowship. I am hoping that by finding a different church that I will find that. I know that it is not going to be like The Grove and the small groups will not be like my community group, of which I am missing a ton, but I have to put forth the effort of building new relationships keeping in check my expectations, knowing that I can not recreate the past, but trusting in my God that He can do far more than I can ask or imagine.

The journey of life is funny that way. The flesh wants it to be easy and recreatable, but the spirit knows that is not what is best and so hence forth we go on our adventure just waiting to see what is around the bend or over the mountain. How thankful I am that I have learned to trust in God and His character to know that He is going to bring about my best.

Sunday, October 08, 2006


These last few weeks I have had a lot of time to talk with friends and contemplate the direction of my life. On my mind, as of late, has been my single hood and my ideas about dating. I feel like I am going through a paradigm shift. My great wish is that I could get in the minds of men. I go through stages and right now I am going through my stage of what in the world is wrong with me. If I could somehow figure out my flaws then maybe I would at least have some male friends. I am getting to the point where I just want to do a random survey. How sad is it to wish that there is a flaw because then it can be fixed, but what if there is nothing to be done and I am stuck here. Frightful!! I want to blame it on my weight and the shallowness of men, but alas I think that I am off base. Even though I do believe that my believe about my weight and how I perceive myself affects how others see me. Am I destined to be single? Is there someone out there for me to share life with? What am I going to do if I get to be 35 and exactly the same place that I was when I was 23? Will I keep trusting God with all of it and leaning on His Goodness? I pray so!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

New Adventures

Well it is afficial, my dad is moving down to Arizona. I helped him move some of his stuff this weekend. I can't believe it, but it had been fifteen years since I had been to my Grandpa's house in Arizona. YIKES!! I stayed with my Grandpa and a friend from Germany that was visiting for a few days. We had a good time.

Highlights: talking with Suzanne, frying fish and making coleslaw, German beer (so good), looking at pictures, laughing, listening to my Grandpa's generations music, rock hunting in the middle of nowhere and getting a flat tire, Suzanne and I taking a run around St. Johns, flying home with Suzanne as the pilot and Grandpa as copilot, eating breakfast at Starvin' Arvins with Grandpa, Suzanne, Dad, and Norma (stepdaughter of Grandpa's) and savering syrup drenched pancakes, taking Suzanne to hog farm and picking green beans, watching them take off from the airport and knowing that they know that I love them dearly.

So know, I am planning at trip for next October to visit Suzanne in Germany and celebrate Oktoberfest. I am excited!!!! Also am contemplating getting my pilot's license. It would make it much easier to visit all the people that I love. I don't know, but it is an idea :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Tough Week

So, I just got a trailer full of stuff from my dad. It included all of the antiques that we grew up with and other miscellaneous items like our old toys, books from childhood, etc. I also had to move my stuff that doesn't fit in my grandmother's house (which is almost everything) b/c my stuff was taking up too much space where it was. This experience has been one of the most frustrating times thus far in my life for a number of reasons. Reason #1: I should not be responsible for this stuff yet. I want the stuff but the timing is way off. Divorce SUCKS!! Reason #2: Both my parents don't want the stuff but still feel obligated to tell me what I need to do with it. I think that when you give stuff up that you negate the right to have an opinion about it. Reason #3: I had to get friends of ours to help me to get the stuff up here and to unload b/c my dad was too busy. I HATE having to get other people involved in my problems and this was one problem that I could do nothing about. All the stuff was too big for me to move around. Reason #4: My grandmother has a house full of crap and won't get rid of anything, but yet I had to move my stuff again so that she could get to boxes that are full of junk that she hasn't even thought about in probably 15 years and then she acts concerned about my stuff. AHHHH!!!! Then she couldn't understand why I was frustrated and wouldn't quit bugging me. To say the least we had a meeting of the minds. Reason #5: I have all of this stuff that I would love to be able to use and I have no where to go with it. I am having to store everything and that bugs me (for reasons that I have yet to sort out).

But on a lighter note: I had three friends tell me that they are expecting new additions to their families. Yeah!! Another baby boom! I am seriously getting way behind in the maturity transitions. I seem to be stuck in the out of college transition. Now I am getting worried that I have been single for so long that I won't be able to make the transition to anything else. I am sure glad that the Lord is patient and loves me without conditions b/c at times I am a tough case :)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Oh how I love WATER!!

Last week I got to spend three days on Lake Powell in Utah on a houseboat. It is a beautiful place with lots of rock structures. I got to enjoy two absolutely beautiful sunrises and got to swim in water for hours at a time. I also tried to water ski. It was not pretty, but I did get standing a couple of times. It is humbling not to be able to do something when you try. I met a couple really neat couples. One couple was a retired National Guard Sargeant who is now living out his hippy days :) He has a long beard and long hair and is on a crash course of learning to be chill and play with all the toys (fishing, guitar, etc.) that he has accumulated over the years. His wife is a geologist for the National Guard and a hip fifty something lady. The other couple was a classmate of my mother's and a former student of my Grandmother (weird) but he had probably 6-10 fishing poles on his boat and enjoying the heck out of getting to fish at anytime, anywhere and his wife had a really quick sense of humor so we spend a lot of the time laughing and enjoying good food. Now I am back and working. I can't even begin to express how thankful I am to have the job I have right now that allows me to have time to go on these little adventures and enjoy God's creation.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Hunting for mushrooms

So this weekend, I did some stuff I had never done. First, I helped butcher and dress chickens. I helped get the feathers off and get them ready to freeze. I learned how to cut them up in proper parts. I know that is sounds gross and it did smell at times, but I don't get freaked out by that kind of stuff and I like learning how to do it like they did "in the old days". Second, I went hunting for the King Boletus mushroom. The most sought after mushroom in the world. It is huge and it is edible. So we went tromping through the woods about an hour and half away from my house for these mushrooms. We found some. I had no idea that there were so many differnt kinds of mushrooms. There are mushrooms that look like coral. WEIRD!! Anyway, I pulled off some recipes from the internet and cooked up my wild mushrooms. It was a great time, but not something one thinks to do on a Sunday morning :)

Friday, August 04, 2006

Good week of randomness

Well this last week has been good, but random. I started out by going to my dad's b/c my aunt and uncle were visiting from Pennsylvania. My grandpa came up from Arizona. On Friday, I got to go horseback riding and flyfishing with my dad and uncle and some really neat teenage girls. They were so refreshing and gave me hope for the future generation. It was great, I practiced my flyfishing technique, I finally got to where I could get the line out in the river and not get snaged. It was a major feet :) I got to ride horses, which I LOVE and I got to just sit out in God's beauty and be amazed. Doesn't get much better than that! Then the next day, I got to just hang out with my grandpa, just the two of us and hear stories. It was great. Then Sunday, my grandpa celebrated his 88 birthday. YIKES! We had friends come over and had hamburgers. I made a cake and made homemade icing. It turned out great! It was the first b-day cake my grandpa had had in 50 years. So needless to say he was super blessed and I had a great time.

Next, I drove to see Becky in the Springs and that was good to see her and her new apartment and spend some more time getting to know her boyfriend. I got to spend some time with college friends, both married and one just had a baby in June (so cute!). Then I headed up to Denver to see my second parents, who had just gotten back from a month in Europe (so jealous).

Anyway, here are the really random things. First, I got to talk with one of my best friends from High School, who found me from my blog. CRAZY! I hadn't talked with her in probably 7 or 8 years. It was great catching up. Second, my "second parents" went to a conference in Norway (For Iranian Christians) and met this guy. He is a Dentist in Sweden. Anyway, they were talking and a lot of the men over there made the comment that the Iranian women in Europe were only concerned with how much money they made and what they could buy them. Cathy and Bahram proceeded to tell them about me and how that was not the case. Well, this gentleman wanted to meet me and so Cathy called me and told me about him and gave me his email address. So know I am corresponding with a 38 year old Iranian Dentist, who lives in Sweden. Now, you can't get much more random than that.

Oh, how life is funny and I mean both haha and weird!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Turning 80

This weekend we celebrated my grandmother's 80th birthday. It was quite the time. The festivities really started when my aunt and uncle from California arrived. My aunt, a Methodist Minister, and my uncle, a school bus driver, mensa member, who is now an autoharp player and teacher. They are the epitomy of going against the mold. Then on Friday, my grandmother's two sisters and brother arrived along with a great nephew who has reactive attachment disorder and ADD, my mom and Al, and my sister. It was a house full to be sure. Let me try to paint you a picture of my family. My grandmother and her sisters along with my aunt and my mother are sitting around the table everyone talking expressing opinions, and reminincing. My grandmothers brother is sitting outside with Al, drinking a beer (# who knows what). Al is sitting outside messing with his guitar and still yet to speak to my sister or I or look us in the eye (The cause of that behavior is a whole other story) The 12 year old who has ADD, has had a fit already about how he is bored and everyone is being selfish b/c he is not getting to do anything. He has gone through every room in the house and been told no possibly 100 times. Good times :)

Surprisingly, the time went great. Grandma had a big celebration on Saturday, where the whole neighborhood got together plus family to eat brauts and sweet corn, play music and just enjoy community and life. My mother and her sister got along better than I had ever seen before, my aunt and uncle got to know my sister better, there was much less competition and more laughing. I am happy to say that the 80th birthday went without a hitch and grandma was totally blessed and I feel that everyone got to know each other that much better. The only bummer is that Al left without speaking to my sister or I or having any contact with us. It is a sad situation, but I am glad that everyone knows what is going on and there are no secrets. Please pray for my mom and her marriage, things are getting worse instead of better and we are all concerned. Until next time...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Finally settling in

Well, I finally got my bed put together and some of my stuff actually organized. I had procrastinated for almost a month b/c it was all just too overwhelming. My grandmother's house is filled to the brim with crap (she is a depression baby) so therefore I have no where to go with mine :)

I don't know if you all struggle with this, but I find that when there is so much to do and you don't know where to start that you just don't do anything. Why is it that when we get overwhelmed that we become so tired and lazy which only make the problem worse? It is so much better to just carve out little chunks of time and do what you can and pretty soon it is done and you can go to the next project. It is not so hard, but the mind can play tricks in more ways than one.

I have none of my nicknacks unpacked and all the walls are still bare, which is very unusual for me. This is the most elongated transition that I have ever had but taking it little by little is helping my sanity and allowed me to get some good fiction read. You know it is all about priorities :)

Friday, June 16, 2006

Working Girl

Well I have put in two full weeks at my new job and so far so good. Each person that is in need of services has a different story and has different ways of coping. The human psyche is incredible. The thing I am amazed at is people's resiliancy despite some horrific circumstances.

I had one client say "I don't want to die, but I don't want to live" and she asked if that made sense. In some ways it makes perfect sense, but is paradoxical at the same time. How does life get so overwhelming that one cannot deal with the reality of it anymore. The thing about it is it is not ever all one person's fault. It is the acumulation of sin from the time of Eden that adds up to the experiences of people today. You want so much to snap your fingers and make it all better, but it took so much to get to this point how are we going to turn the tide to make it better.

Got a client, got to go!

Thursday, June 08, 2006


Kelli that is my fleece vest :)

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Good News!

I have good news. I GOT A JOB!!! I start on Monday. It is an emergency services position and has a different type of schedule, but I think that it will be good experience and could lead to other things. It has a good salary and has benefits. Even better, I will use my degree. The job is in a town near my grandma's and so I get to stay here with her. God took care of everything. Please pray for me as I am learning a new job, transitioning back to the life of full employment and being in a new place. Love you all!


Monday, May 29, 2006

I made it!

Well after much packing, sorting, loading, and stressing, I made it back to Colorado in one piece with all my stuff. It was an interesting trip in a number of ways. First, the moving truck had two bucket seats and there were three of us that needed to ride in the truck. So we bought a little cooler and put three pillow on it. It was hard on the backside but it worked. Of course my mom insisted on sitting on it so that she could sit next to her man. I swear to you that she is worse than a middle school girl in love :) Second, during the trip through Kansas we hit over forty mile/hour wind and of course I am driving. To make matters worse, Al wakes up and wants me to stop in the middle of the worst of it. With exhaution and stress mixed together, I stopped thinking diplomatically and told them I would rather not stop and kept going. OOPS! Not the thing to do with a Hispanic male that easily gets his pride hurt. So the remainder of the trip and the next morning I get the silent treatment and am completely ignored. To make it worse, he isn't acknowledging my mom either. So after apologizing twice, he finally decides that I exist again. Talk about stress that I didn't need. I just kept asking myself why didn't I just stop. The answer is still not clear even to me, but I think a lot of it has to do with trust issues.

Thankfully, the second day of travel, I was in my mom's car alone. It was a good thing because I was grumpy! We got to my grandma's safe and sound and yesterday after a minor hickup we unloaded my stuff and now the challenge is to figure out how to return the stupid truck. The truck needs to be returned by tomorrow by 10 AM. I also have an interview at 10 AM tomorrow and of course my mom and Al and my grandma left today for a little vacation in New Mexico. So needless to say the adventure continues...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ready set go!

So here is my blog in order to keep everyone up to date on the happenings in life in Colorado. Now I expect everyone else to keep me up to date also. It is a two way street!

Here is to fellowship and friendships!