Thursday, June 25, 2009
As much as it is my intention to write more than once a month it never seems to happen. I still am unable to download picture onto my computer and so my blogs are pictureless, which makes me sad. We made it to the family reunion where all of the first cousins came together for the very first time. The last time was in 1980 before my sister was born. I was nice to see everyone and meet my little second cousins for the first time. The next trip is back to Durango for a wedding of a good friend on the Fourth. I am actually in the wedding and so have this and that I have to go to. We will see how Rusty and Blake do with all the festivities. I got to spend some good time with my mom and sister. My mom came for about two weeks and Becky has been here for the month of June. I actually was in God's perfect timing that they were here b/c Rusty and I had another miscarriage and it was nice to have them stay with me b/c Rusty had to work. So we watched a bunch of movies. If you think about us we (or maybe I) could use prayer. This is the fourth miscarriage and we are fighting getting discouraged. It is also hard b/c after each one it gets harder to tell people and so you feel more isolated. My body doesn't know if it is coming or going. We know that it is God's perfect timing. I am just feeling weak, beatdown, and not myself. I also know that God is at work and there is a reason for everything and that good will come. But it is hard not to dwell on why and why it has to be so hard for me when others have no issue. Life is not fair and there is not a thing you can do about it.