Sunday, October 08, 2006
These last few weeks I have had a lot of time to talk with friends and contemplate the direction of my life. On my mind, as of late, has been my single hood and my ideas about dating. I feel like I am going through a paradigm shift. My great wish is that I could get in the minds of men. I go through stages and right now I am going through my stage of what in the world is wrong with me. If I could somehow figure out my flaws then maybe I would at least have some male friends. I am getting to the point where I just want to do a random survey. How sad is it to wish that there is a flaw because then it can be fixed, but what if there is nothing to be done and I am stuck here. Frightful!! I want to blame it on my weight and the shallowness of men, but alas I think that I am off base. Even though I do believe that my believe about my weight and how I perceive myself affects how others see me. Am I destined to be single? Is there someone out there for me to share life with? What am I going to do if I get to be 35 and exactly the same place that I was when I was 23? Will I keep trusting God with all of it and leaning on His Goodness? I pray so!!!