Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thinking...

So if you noticed I changed the title of my blog.  I have been reading more blogs and they all seem to be mom's that are staying home with their children and homeschooling or something else.  I know that I have written about this before but I feel like my side of the story is lost.  I feel that there is this assumption that if you are working and a mother that it was your choice and that you are choosing your "career" over your children especially in Christian circles.  I would like to set the record straight.  I would just like to say that most of the working mother's that I know it is b/c they have to not because they want to.  Sure I could choose to quit my job but that would mean going onto welfare, foreclosing on our home, food stamps, and medicaid.  To me that is not much of a choice and not teaching my children the values that we hold dear.

So for you working mother's out there, I am there with you.  You are not alone.  You are not any less of a mother b/c you are working and you are no less of a Christian.  We as working mother's have very little support.  We don't have time.  We are not affording mother's day out, MOPS or any of the other activities that are scheduled during the work week. You are not failing if you can't keep the house clean, the laundry done, and cook dinner every night.  It does feel like we are barely keeping our heads above water but it will get better.  It will not always be like this.  One thing that I do realize is that when you are working, is that you cherish every second that you have with your child.  I never have the thought of needing a break and there is no way I am having my child go anywhere without me on the weekends.

Ok, that is enough of my soapbox right now but I feel that there is more to come...

8 comments:

Tiffany said...

AMEN!!!!

seifipour said...

Laura, you will ALWAYS have an ally in me. My decision to stay home - and not a day goes by that I don't recognize what a luxury it is to be able to make this choice - was less about spending time with my daughter (although I do like that...I think) and more about avoiding a nervous breakdown at a job that I loved in a school run by people I didn't trust, respect, or have any confidence in. I got tired of playing the politics game, and Ben and I both decided it would be best to take the year to regroup.

Now, I'm getting everything together to start applying for teaching positions again. It's not because I have to; it's because I want to. I never considered myself the stay-at-home type, and actually experiencing it has confirmed that for me.

I know that when I go back to work, there will be Christian women who judge me for it. It makes me angry because I don't think it's any of their business - and besides that, I'm not judging them for homeschooling or whatever it is they're doing - but I'm trying to learn to be settled with it. It's not about them; it's about me doing what's best for my family.

I'm sorry you feel like your voice is lost in the conversation. I know our circumstances are different, but I want you to know that I'm on your side. I want very much for you to feel successful and happy with whatever it is you do, whether you actually have a choice about it or not.

You're doing an amazing job of juggling all your responsibilities, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your thoughts!!

Jill said...

Thank you for sharing about this Laura. I would love to hear your stories, your struggles and your joys as a working mom. I am so sorry if there is a feeling of judgment. I think every mom can feel that no matter what choices they make as a parent.

I see moms feel unsure over breastfeeding or bottle, sleeping with you or in a crib, spanking or not, vaccinate or not, working or not...basically it's hard to be a parent. What God has had to show me is that I need to be confident in what He is telling me to do and not worry about everyone else. You are a good mom doing what you have to do in order to take care of your child. We all need to recognize that in each other and support each other. We do what we need to and do what we feel like God is telling us to and it's not the same for everyone.

Staying at home has it's daunting challenges and stereotypes and struggles. But I am learning day by day to appreciate the place God has me for the time being and understand His purpose in growing me as well as my children. I believe everyone's path is unique according to His plans and purposes and when we begin to compare is when we feel unsure. Many try to make everyone agree with their choices in order for them to feel like they've made the right one. You've made the right one for your family and you can be confident in that.

I think you are awesome for all you do and I really enjoy hearing how your little man is doing. He's a cutie! Hang in there mama!

Carol said...

Good job, Laura, and well said. It is a tough choice, and George and I chose to remain childless because we both had to work. I sometimes regret that choice, but it was made and it is well. There is no doubt in my mind that J. T. is the better for the life you are demonstrating to him. God bless you in all you do!

Mary Lynn said...

I know how you feel. Your blog made me cry. I still struggle with how to make money to pay my bills and still be there for you and Becky without my job getting in the way. I pray that there will be a time when you have it all just like it is supposed to be.

Anonymous said...

Laura - I love your comments :) and, i totally agree.
- Gretchen

Jessica Heights said...

I'm not a working mom, but I love my friends who are! :)

heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

Blogging is such a great outlet for processing our lot in life as well as relating to others in our same circumstance, isn't it?

Good for you to 'represent' and cheer on/encourage other hard-working mama's. Have you ever read mommyfriend? She's a fellow hard working mama who's got a delightful blog. Pay her a visit and tell her I sent ya! ;)

www.mommyfriend.com

Thanks for adding your voice to Wannabe Roundup today.

-h