I just got done reading my friend Jill's blog @ http://www.durangopalmers.blogspot.com/ . She had a great post about having a change of heart and remembering to be thankful. This is ironic b/c last night I had another conversation with myself about the frustration of wants. I don't know about you guys but it gets pretty frustrating when you work and still can't do the things that you really want to do. I think sometimes we get disillusioned b/c as growing up you think when I get a "good" job then I can start traveling or I can get _____ that I have always wanted. Wrong!!! For some that may be true but for us that has not been the case.
I find that I have to constantly remind myself that we have enough. I am thankful for a home and the means to keep all the utilities on. But then frustration creeps in b/c we don't have room for a dining room table or to store our stuff at our home. Then you start asking God, why does it have to be so complicated. I am thankful for my job and that it provides for the family but then I start wondering why I feel so stuck at this particular job and wondering if it is adding to my life or taking away. Then I find that I get resentful towards it b/c it takes away from my time with my family. You know in your head and heart that God is providing but you see others getting new clothes or new cars or going somewhere and you wonder. I often think to myself if my client's realize that all the clothes that I am wearing to work are either gifts or hand me downs. I find it ironic at times.
I think the dilemma that we face is that we are told to dream. We are told that the sky is the limit. So you dream and then life happens. It is hard to remember to stay thankful during those times of struggle. It is hard to remember to be thankful when you feel like you are being picked on. It is hard not to get resentful when you want to go do something "fun" and realize that you don't have enough gas in the car.
But the thing about it is you can stay thankful. You can keep prospective even in America. You can be content even when you live without surplus. I have found that I have been more content in this season that in times before even though now I have much more at stake in regards to responsibilities. It is ok. God has a plan. God knows our needs and our desires. I know that someday I will have a home that we can have guests and we can sit around the table to have meals. I know that someday that God will make a way for me to stay home with my children or at least have more flexibility in a job. And in knowing, I can remember thankfulness in the present.