Ready for September

Well the month of August has turned out to be a rough month. Rusty and I had another miscarriage. That was very hard and I missed a week of work. My grandfather passed away on Sunday and my poor dad had to find him. That made me the most sad. And to top it all off, Rusty is going to be gone Monday through Friday for the next four to six weeks for work. As my supervisor stated when it rains it poors. I am trying my best to keep a positive attitude. I know in my heart of hearts that God is in control and he a good, good God. He has a plan and it is a great one and he it going to turn all the hard into things that bring him glory and us good.

Rough Night

Let me start from the beginning. Keifer was our family cat. Rusty had had Keifer for roughy 14 years. He was one of those cats that was a cuddler. He was a big cat and had good vocal cords and would let you know when things were not going his way. He was Rusty's cat until we got married and then he became more my cat. We would snuggle at night and he liked to sleep sprawled on my neck or shoulder or tucked under my arm. Well last night Keifer got sick all of a sudden and then started breathing really heavy. I contacted the on call vet and we were going to just keep an eye on him. Then about fifteen minutes later, Keifer started throwing up blood and so I called my in-laws to come and stay at the house b/c I had Blake and didn't want to wake him up in the middle of the night to take the cat to the vet. So my father-in-law stayed at the house and my mother-in-law came with me to the vet. (You may be wondering where Rusty is. He is currently working up in Wyoming/Montana this week and won't be home until next week). But Keifer had already passed away by the time we made it the Vet. He apparently had a heart aneurism and died in less than a hour of getting sick. It was sad but I am glad that he went quickly and that Rusty and Blake didn't have to see him sick and can just remember him as the fun, beautiful, full of personality cat that he was. Blake and I joked this morning that Keifer was up with God a young cat just running around outside and having fun. Bye, Keifer.

Miscommunication

Please refer to previous blog. I meant that I had NO depression. Not that I was depressed :) OOPS :)

Hello Thirties

Well I am officially no longer in my twenties. I manages to get through my thirtieth birthday with depression in regards to getting on year older. I am not together surprised b/c I haven't had difficulty with any other age. But I did get to thinking about what happened in the last 10 years and it seems like forever ago since I turned twenty. I remember how happy I was not to be in my teens anymore. The rest of my twenties are slightly a blur and I can't remember much of what I did during that time. There was a lot that changed during that time however. I moved a ton of times, had several different jobs, lots of family changes, went to graduate school, started a career, got married, and grew leaps and bounds in the Lord. I am thoroughly convinced that the twenties are for self discovery and are jammed packed full of changes. I have enjoyed my twenties but I think that I am ready for my thirties. It just makes you wonder what in the world is going to happen in the next 10 years ?!!!

Camping Trip

Rusty, Blake and I went for a five day camping trip to the area around Lake City. We had a good time fishing, hiking, hanging out with family, and watching the fire works. Rusty's aunt, uncle, cousin, cousin's friends, and dad came up a few days after us and we had a good time. Blake was a trooper and was so proud that we went for five days. It was time for us to go home on the fifth day however. Blake was having more melt downs and fantom stomach pains and it was reported that the rain set in. We took our two dogs who managed to run off a few times but always found their way home. We had only had the one dog for about a week and she had a harder time with following directions than Tanner. Blake informed me when we got home that we didn't have to poop in a hole anymore. That is when you know you really went camping :) I am still amazed at the amount of laundry after camping b/c you have to wash the clothes that weren't worn b/c they still got dirty. I think this will probably become a family tradition. Time will tell.

New Addition

We have a new addition to our family. It is a one year old lab mix dog named Cloe. We had some friends that didn't want her anymore due to not being able to spend enough time with her to train her. She is much smaller than Tanner (thank goodness) but it is a house full with two dogs and a cat. Rusty is very excited to have two bird dogs and Cloe is learning fast the rules of the house and learning how to heel on her leash. It should be an adventure, we are taking Blake and the two dogs camping for five days. I'll let you know how it goes. By the way anyone, how do you post pictures in your blog? I am not the most technilogically inclined :)

Road Trips/Birthday parties

We made it to go see my grandpa in Arizona. It was a lot of driving through a lot of nothingness. That is the desert for you. We drove down there on Friday and got in around 6 PM. Left his house with my dad at 5 AM to drive to Phoenix to get my grandpa's fifth wheel. We got into Phoenix around 8 AM and then left at around 10 AM. The temp was at 105 when we were heading out. We got back to St John's at around 3 PM and then were back on the road at 5:30 AM and got back to Montrose at around 12 PM. Lots of road time, but it sure was nice to get back in Colorado with all the green and the cool, fresh air of the mountains. It was refreshing. Then at 3 PM we had our niece's first birthday party with lots of people, kids and presents. She got all kinds of presents but I was so excited when she was the most interested in the book that she got from us. I wanted to say "see all is not lost with our youth." What was sad was that was the only book. But she got a lot of the Leap Frog stuff that makes noises and has lights and is educational. So, not terrible. It was a busy weekend which made for a rough Monday morning :)

The Latest...

So the verdict on the car is that it is not worth fixing. I was right the engine went and to fix it would cost more than the car is worth. So we are down to a Ford Bronco (not exactly fuel efficient). So that means no long road trips for this chick for a time. On the same day that we found out about the car, we found out that our cat has diabetes and has to be given shots twice per day and that Blake broke his arm jumping on a trampoline. It was a very expensive day :) On a brighter note over memorial day weekend we went on our first backpacking trip to the National Monument. The weather cooperated and we walked our legs off and had a good time. We have also gotten to go mountain biking a few times now up near Grand Junction and have had good times doing that. We are just trucking through life it seems and nearing our first year anniversary. Pretty crazy! We are looking forward to going to visit my grandpa in Arizona in a couple of weeks. He has been sick and it is just time. This is a time that finances be damned family is too important.

Car Saga

So, I know most of you know the trouble that I have had with my car. I have put a new transmission in it, a new fuel system, a new muffler, two new mirrors, had to bypass the keys system so that I could afford extra keys, a new clutch, a new radiator, etc. I thought that I had finally fixed everything and I would have a period of not having to fix my car. Wrong. The other night it just decided to start making this horrible clanking noise and not start. I think that the engine has finally went. That is the only thing that I haven't fix in it. The thing that gets me is that the car is a 2001. Not that old! Things are just not made like they used to be. The other ironic thing is that we had called this week to get knew tires for it today. It died yesterday. Ugggh! So the money we would use to get tires will know have to go to getting it fixed AGAIN! I hate motorized vehicles. Thankfully we are almost completely non dependent on our vehicles. Rusty and I can walk to work, the grocery, the library, downtown, and anywhere else we can ride our bikes. So there you stupid car you can't stop us! Other than make us broke :( Where is a rich relative when I need one :) Oh well, so goes life...

Soap Box

Rusty talked about doing a letter to the editor. I decided I would vent on my blog. Since we move to our house in town. We both are either walking or riding out bikes to work almost daily. Here is my gripe. I have almost been hit by a car twice! That is right twice. I was over half way across the crosswalk this most recent time. I could have knocked on the lady's car window before she saw me. I have decided that we as a society don't feel that we really have to stop at stop signs. Most cars I see only slow down but rarely stop. It makes me concerned about the children who are walking to school and it makes me disenchanged further with our society. No one stops for pedectians anymore! No one stops behind the crosswalk anymore! If we want people to stop driving and use alternative transportation then we had better start making using those alternatives safer and user friendly. I am afraid of riding my bike b/c of the likelyhood of getting killed is very high. I just wish that people did not feel that they were above the laws but respected them and also other people. The character of our society is going down hill fast and this is one of the glaring examples of how. Ok, now I feel better. Thanks :)

Recent Medical Development

...the story of the fat lip...so since I was around 16 years old I developed this cyst on my lip that is a "mucus cyst" according to the doctors. I had is removed at one time in my teens but it decided to come back. It has never really been a problem until about a week ago. It just started to get bigger and get more annoying and was chewing on it constantly. Anyway, on Monday it decided to rupture internally and caused a very nice bruise as well as get bigger. So I looked like I had a fat lip with a bruise. Ironically Rusty hurt his wrist playing golf and thought that he had broke something due to the pain. I thought to myself...Great people are going to think Rusty hit me and hurt his wrist...there is a great way to get rumors going...anyway, yesterday I met with the ear, nose and throat specialist and had it removed. Time must make you forget b/c I do not remember it hurting that bad or looking this bad. So now I have a fat lip, that is bloody, bruised and has stitches. GREAT!!! Thankfully today it doesn't look as bruised but it still swollen. I just keep wondering what my client's think...looking at my face and wondering what in heaven's name is wrong with that girl's face or what kind of fight did she get into. It was also very interesting that it took people at work a while to notice and then another waiting time to finally ask what was wrong with my lip...somewhat awkward telling them I have cyst in my lip...you just never know what life is going to deal you...

Sub Cultures...

There are many subcultures in our world. Some more obvious than others. I have recently discovered the subculture of the Archer. Let me try to paint the scene through the eyes of an innocent bystander. It starts out with just hunting with a bow rather than a rifle. The bow adds challenge and makes you have to get within at least 50 ft of the animal but most of the time 30 ft. That is looking them practically in the eye balls! Then it moves forward to competitive archery. In competitive archery, you have the bow hunters who are just practicing all the way to pros that have numerous sponsors and a variety of bows and equipment. I do not think people realize that this world really exists but it does. But there is not just one thing to shoot at, oh no, that would be too simple. They have several targets that include three spots and five spots, with each spot equally different points. The goal is get the highest score with the most Xs. It doesn't stop at paper targets, then you get to 3D targets. You have targets that look like elk, turkeys, moose, deer, dinosaurs, snakes, racoons, sheep etc... arranged in a variety of positions on hills, in trees, in bushes, and around rocks. Oh but it doesn't stop there, now you have different classes for which sights you use, which bows you use, and how you shoot the bow whether with your fingers or with a release.

I know that you are wondering how I know about this subculture. I married into it. It is facinating and one that I will potentially dabble in. Anyway I thought that I would assist in the broadening of your cultural awareness:)

Life...

I am always amazed at how life works and how we are none of us exempt from the good parts and the hard. There has been much that has happened since we took our vows in July. We went on our honeymoon and stayed in a quaint little cabin and enjoyed nature and riding our mountain bikes. Rusty realized that Telluride wasn't such a bad place and we both wished we had more vacation time. We got home from the honeymoon and my grandmother decided that it was best for all that we find our own home to live in. We had knew that this was coming but didn't know how to broach the question and so again God showed himself in control. Well, starting in August we started our search for shelter :) We went through all our options and decided that buying a house would be best. What a process! It was a good dose of reality and a shark realization of how people and society are living beyond their means. We were blessed to find a house that was centrally located to where Rusty and I can both walk to work. We moved in in the middle of October. It took me over a month to decorate and it has started feeling like our home. In the midst of moving in and all the other transitions, we learned that we were pregnant. It came as a surprise as we were not planning on it at this time, but we were trusting God's timing. Well last week, I started bleeding very badly and had an ultrasound done and confirmed that we had a miscarriage.

So just as we were getting adjusted to the idea of having a new addition to our family, we were having to readjust again and still trust in God's timing and staying focused on the truth that he is in control. We had great support from family and friends and I couldn't have been more thankful that Thanksgiving was that week and we were surrounded by my and Rusty's family.

We both are doing well and have found peace in God's grace and love. My body is finally getting back to normal and I am feeling like myself again energy wise. This time has just reminded me of how important it is to have family and friends that you can share the good and the hard with and be able to share LIFE with...

It is Official

Well it is official, I am married. It was a great day! I will start with Friday. All lot of people came on Thursday and Friday. The down side on all of it was the unfortunate time spend at Sam's Club and Walmart to get food items. My dad and the boys were hard at work roasting the hog and setting up, while Becky and I made 9 batches of yummy brownies. The "theme" for Friday nights hog roast was all local food. The hog was from down the road, the corn was Olathe Sweet Corn, the cole slaw was made from cabbage from the neighbor's garden, and the beans were homemade by a good friend (I don't know where the beans came from :) ). The recipe for the brownies originated with one of grandma's oldest friends. It was a great night. There were around 100 people and there were quite a few people that got to come Friday and not Saturday. There was the normal group playing their guitars and normal "East Mesa" fun :) Then Saturday started with us meeting first thing in the morning to set up the chairs and sound system and have a rehearsal. The afternoon flew by and before I knew it we were running late and flying down the road to drop off the Bronco (hide it) and get to the ceremony to get dressed and start photos. I got ready in about 15 minutes (my hair was done thank goodness). I walked out to start photos and Rusty saw me and I thought that I might have to do the Heimlich b/c he choked and almost started to cry when he saw me. It was GREAT!! We got pictures started and thankfully got all of the family pictures done before the ceremony b/c the kids were not having pictures after. The ceremony was perfect. There was a huge storm coming and right when everything got started and the wind started blowing and I thought we might get slammed, but it stayed right there and the wind calmed down. It was like God was saying I am right here, holding back the storm. The ceremony went without a glitch. The funniest thing was Rusty's 3 year old niece throughout the ceremony would go in front of everyone to sit on a rock and could not be bothered by her dress so hiked it up for everyone to see. Priceless :) The reception was great. The food was great and I had friends from work do all the serving and they did awesome. Instead of wedding cake, we had cheesecake and there were incredible looking. We danced and chatted. The night went quickly but it wasn't stressful and I enjoyed every minute of it. The only thing is that I wish everyone could have been there :)

10 YEARS

So this last weekend I went to my ten year class reunion in Brush, CO. I hadn't been in my home town since about 2000. The nice thing about that area of the country is that it doesn't change drastically unlike the Western part of Colorado. I really had a good time seeing everyone and catching up with classmates. Those are some of the only people in your life that you really know their families, their parents, their siblings. It was a very validating experience. It was a little surreal not being recognized by people even though you feel that you haven't changed that much. It is great to be told that you look great and to be around the people that used to accentuate your insecurities and have them now validate your security in yourself. It was just a real confirmation that I have really changed and I am not the person that left Brush, CO ten years ago. I am more fully who I am now, if that makes any sense at all :)

Other news, I have 2.5 weeks before the wedding day. I am getting excited. I am looking forward to seeing family and friends and having a good time. I am looking forward to the preparation and seeing how things turn out. I am looking forward to who actually comes and who doesn't. I am looking forward to what makes the day unique from others, what good stories are going to come about. I am looking forward to being "officially" married and being able to enter into the transition of marriage fully.

Well, enough for now.

Man, Life has hit worp speed!

So life has gotten very busy very quickly. I started a new position at work two weeks ago. I love it!!! It is M-F, regular 40 hour week with no on-call. I have my weekends off and paid holidays. YIPEEE!! Granted I don't have my week off, but I am so thankful for a regular set schedule that I can make plans around. I am the intake/access clinician at the Center for Mental Health. I am really the gatekeeper for people that are wanting to get mental health treatment at the Center. I will also have my own clients eventually, which will be great experience.

The wedding plans are going well. Thankfully that has not been stressful other than figuring out how to pay for it. But that will get taken care of over time. Rusty and I are doing great! We are doing a parenting class and also pre-marital counseling. We really like the pre-marital counseling. We are ready for the parenting class to be done. It is done through the department of health and human services and has much to be desired (in my clinical opinion ;) ).

We are trying to stay focused on our relationship and our hope is to have a fun get together that is called a wedding that we get to enjoy our friends and family.

I do have some prayer requests. The first is that you would pray for Rusty's son Blake. We have been having trouble with his mother and had to go to a lawyer in order to submit a parenting plan to the court so that she could not change visitation on a whim. That has been one of the most stressful things I have ever been through. Second, for our families that they will be able to let go and transition through this time of change. Third, Rusty has a job interview tomorrow for a much better job. We are praying that he gets it and can leave where he is working. It is just an unhealthy business that has unhealthy business practices.

Thanks!!! I hope that I get to see some of you this summer in Colorado!!!

More later...Laura

I am engaged!

Well life has taken another large turn. But man this is a turn that I have been waiting for a LONG TIME! I am not sure where to begin other than God is amazing!!!!! Rusty and I started dating on February 14. Our first date we went out to lunch and ended up talking for four hours. We went out a few more times and then I took him to Durango to meet my dad and help with a building project Dad was working on. After that weekend, we have been pretty inseperable. A few weeks ago, we were taking our daily walk and Rusty asked me if I saw us together forever and I could say without a doubt that I could. Well, this weekend my sister and Dad came up for a visit. Rusty was able to talk with my dad and proposed to my on Saturday afternoon in my Grandmother's kitchen. We were alone and he just couldn't wait any longer and he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. Of course, I said YES! We went into the Den and told my Dad and sister, both of whom where shocked! Then his family, who already knew what he was going to do, came over for dinner and we were all able to celebrate. It was cool b/c Saturday was his grandparents wedding aniversary.

His family and my family are very excited. I am surprised at how fast it happened but I don't feel like we are rushing anything. It is so weird. All the little details that were orchestrated by God for us to meet and the little details that were answered for us to fit together is mind boggling. I met Rusty b/c his mother is my supervisor at work. His sister also works in the same office. It is funny b/c it took him about six months to work up the courage to ask me out :) God had really been working in his heart and brought us together at just the right time in his walk and in mine. We both love the outdoors and being active. He is very handy around the house and you all know my propensity toward manual labor :) He has a three year old son but he is a good dad and love kiddos. We started going to a good church in town and started going to a small group of four other couples. The timing on everything has been perfect.

I am so excited about the future and excited to share this fun time and transition with all of you. I promise I will post a picture as soon as I get one and figure out how to post it :)

More details to come...

How quickly things can change...

Well, in the last month things have definitely taken a turn. Thankfully I can say that they are all very good turns. I am just amazed at how quickly life can change and switch directions. You spend so much time thinking things are never going to change and then voila! things change. I think one can only appreciate the amazingness of this when you contemplate the amazingness of God and how intimately and intricately He is involved in each individual life.

The first turn that has happened is that God brought a man into my life. Talk about shift in thinking. It is a new relationship, but the more we are together the more we want to be together and so I am feeling pretty darn good about it. That in and of itself is amazing. This relationship is not stressful. It isn't hard work. We just enjoy each other. I am almost worried b/c it is too easy. Silly :)

The second interesting turn is that I met my "boyfriend" b/c he is my supervisor's son at work. Minor complication. So b/c of that and b/c we are getting more serious I have applied for another position at my job. This job would be a normal schedule with the perks of paid holidays and paid vacation. It would include me doing more intensive clinic work with clients as well as doing intakes for people that are wanting mental health services. What is funny about this is that this position is perfect for me, but I would have never applied for it if God hadn't brought someone new into my life. His plan is perfect and his timing is perfect and I hope that I am continually amazed by how personal he is and how close he is.

That is the latest. FYI the weather has been BEAUTIFUL and I am ecstatic!

It's snowing, again!

We have had a week of really nice weather and today it started snowing. I am instantly disheartened. I want it to get warm so bad! I keep reminding myself everyday that the days are only getting longer and are only going to get warmer (sort of).

I did get to enjoy the winter weather a few weeks ago. A friend from Germany came and spent the week with me. We spent four days skiing the slopes at three different ski resorts. We went to two different natural hot springs and took two snow shoeing expeditions. We had a great time enjoying God's creation and each others company. She is one that just enjoys every little detail of life and takes tons of pictures. We drove probably seven hundred miles in five days in just Western Colorado. It was great!

Please forgive me for the randomness, but lately I have been contemplating the season of Lent and why we celebrate it and how it is celebrated. It has been very interesting. I have been contemplating how I can celebrate this season. It is a season that symbolizes so many things. It symbolizes Jesus' journey to the cross and the celebration of his life and the overcoming of sin. It is a season of reflection to recognize how our own sin instigated that journey and how we are on that journey ourselves. It is a season of renewal, recognizing the new life that we have, seeing spring in our own spirits were there is new growth showing after a season of winter. It is a season of refocusing of what is important and kind of doing spring cleaning in our hearts, minds, and spirits. I had never really put much thought into this tradition and season until this year, but now that I have I am again reminded of the amazing love of our Father, the incredible sacrifice of Jesus, and the amazing gift of the Holy Spirit. I have of late really been reconciling myself to my own weakness and vulnerability. My own humanness scares me. But God, is my strength. He defends me. He protects me. He is dependable and trustworthy.

I pray that all of us in this time of reflecting on the journey of Jesus to the cross are further reconciled to who we are and who God is and who we are in Him.

Love to all,
Laura

Just an Update

Well, the holiday season is over. Although you wouldn't tell it by my house b/c I have yet to take the Christmas decorations down. I think that I am not going to get in a hurry about it either. This years holiday season would be rated as fair to good. Grandma and I made it to Denver for Christmas squeezing in between the two gigantic snow storms. Don't get me wrong I had my fair share of horrible traffic and bad roads, but not unbearable. I sure was glad to get back over the mountain where the pace is a bit slower and there are far fewer people :) My favorite present this year was a heated mattress pad, Divine!, and a warm, cute hat to keep my head warm in the subarctic weather.

For New Year's Eve, I took the day off from work and went snow shoeing. We walked for about six miles. It was fun but heaven's my body was feeling it. I do love snow shoeing. Then that night I went with some friends to a New Year's party where I learned to Black Jack and danced in the New Year. I am always amazed at my difficiancy with number. Really, is it so hard to count to 21? I sure think so :) On New Year's day, I hybernated in my room under a heated blanket and really tried to reflect on the year past and what I want in the present year. It was so refreshing to journal again. I haven't done it in so long.

God has really been reminding me here lately that He is my first love. That he is the source of all of my needs and He is sufficiant. What a good reminder. What a refreshing reminder. He really is good!!!

Some fun highlights of the last few weeks were: throwing a good friend a birthday bash with enchiladas, margaritas, and homemade carrot cake. It was so fun! I love cooking and throwing parties. Who knew :) ; my dad coming to visit over the weekend and just hanging out watching football, reading books and making Chili; and awaiting future adventures to come in the new year.