Happy New Year!!!

In amazement it is the last day of 09 and soon approaching 2010. This last year has been eventful but yet seems uneventful at the same time. Our prayers for the next year is that Rusty will find steady employment, a healthy baby boy will be born on his due date, and that we will grow in our relationship with God, with each other, with our families and our friends. That we would be thankful in all things and continue to have teachable hearts throughout the ups and downs. Our prayers for you is that you would be blessed with love, relationship, provision, and a thankful/content heart this new year. Love to all this new year!!!


Laura and Rusty

Christmas Letter 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

I thought that I would write a little note this year. I know that for most of us that it was a year filled with joys and sorrows. We for the most part are doing pretty well. Last year, at this time, Rusty was laid off from his job as a drafter. In some ways it was a blessing b/c he was having to work in Grand Junction and be gone during the week. It also gave him time to finish the remodel on our bathroom before our holiday guests arrived. He was unemployed until around May and started working for a ranch locally where he worked up until the middle of November. He enjoyed it immensely and has manged to accumulate two horses, another dog, and various tack. He rediscovered his love for horses and working outdoors. Unfortunately, it has come to an end and we are back to wondering what to do next.

I am still working for the Center for Mental Health in Montrose. In April, I finished all my hours and obtained my license in counseling. After all the hoops and paperwork, I am very proud of myself for finally getting it. Thankfully, it came at just the right time b/c I got a sizeable raise. So by the grace of God, we have stayed above water financially and have become very aware of how to be thankful for the little things like food, shelter, and friends.

Blake is now six years old and started kindergarten this year. He loves riding the school bus and informed me that he "knew that he was going to have fun but he was learning a lot too." He has started wanting to know how to spell everything and tries to figure out that letters are in words. It is fun to watch his mind grasp all of these new things.

We are happy to announce that we are going to have a new addition come to our family the end of April. We are around five months pregnant and very excited about having a little one in our home. So far, the baby looks healthy and has a good strong heart beat. We are, however, in a quandary about where we are going to fit baby stuff due to the fact that we are at max capacity in our home currently but we will fugure something out. We are just so thankful for this new life that all the stresses pale in comparison.

Even with the ups and downs, we got to take a few trip this year. In April, we got to take my grandmother to California to celebrate with my aunt and uncle their 30th wedding anniversary. In August, Rusty and Blake got to experience their first major league baseball game at Coors field and watch the Rockies win. In September, Rusty and I joined my mom and sister in Steamboat Springs to enjoy the fall colors and just get away. We also got to take a couple of trips to Durango for a family reunion and a friend's wedding over the summer.

We hope that you all have a wonderful holiday and a year full of blessings. We hope to see you soon.

Love,

Rusty, Laura, Blake, and Baby Ickes

Half way

I just had my 20 week check up. I am officially half way with the pregnancy and have started feeling the little man kick and he is active. We got to have the ultrasound tech train on us with the 3-D ultrasound pictures and the little guy likes to keep his hands around his face. On one of them he had his little finger on his lip like he was thinking. We also got to see him moving his jaw like he was eating. It was very cute. Everything is going great and I am feeling really good. I was having trouble with my back but a few weeks of physical therapy helped that a ton.

On the homefront, Rusty is officially back on unemployment and searching for a job while working as many odd jobs as he can get. We are starting to have a pattern of unemployment starting in December...not the best timing :( We are hopeful and trusting that God will provide. We have our house all decorated and got to have outside lights, which made Rusty very excited. He is going to be riding his horse in the parade on Saturday and I am in a quandry of whether I want to ride on his float or watch the parade. All I know is that it is going to be cold and possibly snowy. We have a wedding coming up for a good friend and family functions. Not looking forward too much to the family functions b/c had a little altercation with one of Rusty's cousins. Well really it was her yelling at me and me trying to defuse the situation. But needless to say it has made things awkward and trying to limit my contact if possible. That is about it for right now. Happy Christmas!!!!

Results

Praise the Lord. We got the results back from the amnio and everything looks normal with no evidence of abnormalities. We also got the results that the baby is for sure a boy. We are totally stoked. We met with a doula last night that we really liked and I am glad to have that added support throughout the pregnancy to make sure that I am doing everything to keep the baby healthy and me healthy and to have a healthy delivery. Rusty told Blake about the baby last weekend and he was pretty ambivolent about it. He thought that being an older brother wouldn't be too bad but when Rusty said that he could be an older brother like his, he told Rusty that "sometimes my brothers are mean". It is so funny how kids brains work.



Also, Rusty might have a lead on a job. He met with a guy from Colorado Workforce yesterday and got his resume and cover letter sent to him last night. We are hopeful that this might lead to something but one can never tell. All we know is that Rusty is getting fewer and fewer paid days at his current job. This time has been a good lesson in how to live day by day and appreciate that our needs are met for the day.



Thank you for the prayers and I will keep you posted.

Big News

It has come time to make the big annoucement that we are pregnant. I am 15 weeks and everything looks good. I have had three ultrasounds and have gotten to hear the heartbeat twice. It is a good heartbeat and nothing looks out of the ordinary. We are very excited. The due date is around April 23, 2009. We would ask for your prayers b/c I have what is called a balanced translocation with is a technical term for two of my chromosomes decided swap pieces which puts us at higher risk of having birth defects. We have our amniocentisis on November 10 and would ask for prayers of protection for the baby and that baby Ickes would be healthy and whole.



With this wonderful new, I ask for prayers. 1) for Rusty that he would find steady employment that would provide for our family. We are barely scraping by and we go week to week wondering if he will have a job next week. 2) a miracle so that I can stay home with the baby for at least three months before having to go back to work. If everything goes right I should have two months paid for by sick leave and annual leave but after that it would be no income for a month. My heart's decire is to be able to stay home or work part time but right now my income is the one that pays the bills. 3) wisdom in what to do with our house. We are busting at the seems and have no room for baby things. Right now the baby will share our room the best that we can but something is going to have to give. We are contemplating adding on but of course finances are an issues and also time. So needless to say we are not sure what to do but our house is not going to suffice for very much longer.



We are both very excited but also sitting wondering how in the world God is going to pull this off. We know that his timing is perfect and that he is in control. So we sit and we wait and we trust and do what we can right now. But it is true God has provided for us each day and we have what we need for today and there is little more we can ask for. I have found that it is hard not to worry about the future and not to try and figure it out on my own, however futile.



Thank you for joining us in prayer and being a part of our family.

Not much happening

I realized that I hadn't updated in a while. Unfortunately there has not been a ton happening. Rusty is working long hours cutting corn on the ranch. I have been working a lot it feels like. Blake has started kindergarden and loving it. He may love riding the bus to school the most. However he is learning his sound for reading and has a very nice teacher. We just celebrated his sixth birthday over the weekend. The theme was Star Wars. Wasn't that a theme when we were kids? It comes full circle I guess. I have been watching TV a lot getting started with Dancing with the Stars and Biggest Loser. They suck me in. It is pretty sad. We had a good time going to the Rockies game and seeing my mom in Denver at her new pad. It is a little resort in the middle of Denver. This weekend I am going to spend the weekend with my mom and sister in Steamboat Springs so that should be fun. I am still holding out hope that Rusty will be able to go with me rather than have to work. We will see. Thinking back on my life I think that this is the longest period of time that no big changes have happened. I haven't moved. I haven't changed jobs. It is sometimes weird b/c things are stable and the same. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me that that would be weird.

Its a mystery

Can someone explain to me why there are periods of time where your money doesn't last like it used to? I swear that things are more tight right now than when Rusty was unemployed. Now how is that possible!? Anyway God is Good. He knows what he is doing. This last week we have had Blake. We have had fun playing with other kids, going to the park, and other stuff. We partook of the Olathe Sweet Corn festival and Clint Black in concert. It was very good (if you like country music). Last night our homegroup went to our pastor's home and helped him with his home renouvations. I painted with some other people while the other put down laminate flooring. It was a good time of fellowship and serving. Thankfully nothing is planned for this weekend so we all can catch up on sleep from this week :) We have decided that any shyness that Blake had has disappeared. He is the chattiest boy that I have seen and is so excited by the little things. I really am enjoying this age and can't believe that he is starting kindergarden in a few weeks. I am excited for him however. The next event coming up is going to Denver to see mom and go to the Rockies game with the whole family. Should be a good time! Later...

Surprises

You know life is full of little surprises. Last week I got to go to a training on being a facilitator for the Nurturing Parenting program where it helps families to raise their children in nurturing and not abusive homes. You know you go to a training and just expect to learn the information. This training was very personal and deep, which was such a surprise, but it stirred up a deep sadness. It made me realize how much I miss having deep/vulnerable conversation. We talked about our stresses, our fears, and our struggles. I just realized that even after three years I continue to struggle connecting with my community. I was talking with a co-worker about this and I think part of it has to do with the job that I do. I have built up a wall again b/c of always being aware of confidentiality and also boundaries with client's. I am going to have to find balance on this one. But I sure am looking forward to facilitating the nurturing parenting classes. I think that it will be really good and something that will teach me a lot. On another note, I got the priveledge of watching my husband participate in a ranch rodeo. It was tons of fun. If anyone gets a chance to go to a ranch rodeo it is a good time. I was very proud of my husband. Today is our two year anniversary. I told him last night that I can hardly believe that it has been two years b/c it feels like so much has happened in these two years. I do love my husband and love our life together no matter the struggles and challenges. Life is quite the journey.

Holiday weekends

I have decided that holiday weekends are not the time to have a wedding. I was in my friends wedding that was on the fourth of July. There were several things that made it challenging. The first was being married this time. It is hard to take care of your responsibilities of the wedding party and keep your family entertained in the meanwhile. It is hard to be involved in a wedding where you have lived before. It makes it hard to visit with everyone that you want to see. The other challenge is that your responsiblities make it so your family cannot enjoy the festivities of the holiday. We missed the parade and going camping over the weekend. Thankfully I will never have to plan my own wedding again but for others please don't schedule your wedding on a holiday weekend :)

The Good, the Bad, and just plain life

As much as it is my intention to write more than once a month it never seems to happen. I still am unable to download picture onto my computer and so my blogs are pictureless, which makes me sad. We made it to the family reunion where all of the first cousins came together for the very first time. The last time was in 1980 before my sister was born. I was nice to see everyone and meet my little second cousins for the first time. The next trip is back to Durango for a wedding of a good friend on the Fourth. I am actually in the wedding and so have this and that I have to go to. We will see how Rusty and Blake do with all the festivities. I got to spend some good time with my mom and sister. My mom came for about two weeks and Becky has been here for the month of June. I actually was in God's perfect timing that they were here b/c Rusty and I had another miscarriage and it was nice to have them stay with me b/c Rusty had to work. So we watched a bunch of movies. If you think about us we (or maybe I) could use prayer. This is the fourth miscarriage and we are fighting getting discouraged. It is also hard b/c after each one it gets harder to tell people and so you feel more isolated. My body doesn't know if it is coming or going. We know that it is God's perfect timing. I am just feeling weak, beatdown, and not myself. I also know that God is at work and there is a reason for everything and that good will come. But it is hard not to dwell on why and why it has to be so hard for me when others have no issue. Life is not fair and there is not a thing you can do about it.

I Love the Spring, but I love Summer more

Well, with the warmer weather and the green goodness that is on the trees and ground has brought breakthroughs in our life and is a constant reminder that the Lord brings new things and is always good. I finally got all my paperwork to go through and have obtained my counseling license. It was quite a process and feels like more of an accomplishment than I thought it would be. So I am officially a Licensed Professional Counselor. All it means for me is a pay raise, more job obligations and greater opportunity in the future. Rusty has started working for a local ranch full-time. That is a huge blessing. He is loving getting to cowboy and get paid for it. He got a horse and he just ordered his own saddle. The boy is in heaven :) Also, we got to take a trip to visit my aunt and uncle in Cresent City, CA. We took my grandma to be with them to celebrate their 30 wedding aniversary. It was great to see different county and to get out of dodge for a while. The highlight was seeing a seal in the ocean, the Redwood trees, and my uncle playing his autoharp in his Boondock Band. I realized that this is one of the first trips that I have taken that I was really ready to come home. Usually I just want to stay where I am. It was a nice feeling to feel like home was a place I wanted to come back to. Things we are looking foward to are: getting together with my family the first weekend of June in Durango, my sister coming to stay with my local grandma for a few weeks and having her for a good chunk of time, and of course any outside activities we can squeeze in.

Not much happening

I have to say that there has not been much happening as of late. Rusty is still working out on the ranch and yet to get paid for anything. He has his up and downs with regards to that. He is really trying to start a business with his friend training horses for people. I am still working on getting my licensure stuff through the system so that I can get a raise. So that is the financial end. Still struggling :( Some highlights from the last month have been that we got to see some relatives from my side that I had never met and had a really good visit with them. We are looking forward to next month taking my grandma to Northern California for my aunt and uncles anniversary. They are planning to renew their vows. It should be a beautiful drive and nice to get away for a bit. We are very thankful for Spring but it feels like Winter currently. It snowed yesterday. I hope that the cold goes away soon! Anyway, that is all for know.

Cowboy

Well the latest is that Rusty is working part time for a ranch building fence. He is also getting to ride horses and other ranch hand stuff. He is enjoying it but unfortunately it is sporatic work and not full time but it is something. He is getting to wear his boots and all his "cowboy" gear and is thrilled. His finger has healed up nicely and thankfully we qualified for indigent at the hospital and was able to pay for the ER visit without going broke. Other than that we are surviving. My dad came to visit over the weekend and so we enjoyed time with him and watching movies. I do love to watch movies. We watched Appaloosa, Swing Vote, Fireproof, and Righteous Kill. Also watched Comanche Moon, Lonesome Dove, and Maclintoch. It was cute on Valentine's day Rusty and I celebrated two years together (b/c our first date was lunch on V-day). We went to the restaurant where we had our first date and the girl remembered that it was our anniversary and had us sit in the same spot we did two years ago. It was funny. That is all for now...more later..

What Next...

Not too much has changed with us. Rusty is still unemployed and looking but there is just not anything out there at this time. I am hoping that with Spring on the way and the inaugeration over that things might pick up or something will change. Last week, Rusty was building a campbox for a friend and cut a chunk of his left index finger off. So we had an ER visit without insurance. Thankfully I think that we will qualify for indigent and get a discount on it but will find out for sure on Friday. I met with the lady about getting Rusty and Blake back on insurance on Monday, but unfortunately it doesn't look like he will be insured again until March. Can I just say that health insurance makes me angry. It is a racket with no regulations and does not serve the people who need it. They just want to rob the ones that don't have health problems and not pay or allow the ones that need it to get it. To have added Rusty to my insurance would have been over a thousand dollars. Ludicrous!!! You know it is so hard to keep taking the hits. It is not hard to believe that God is going to take care of it. It is not hard to believe that God is going to provide. But it is hard not to get beat down by all the little stuff in the mean time. I find that I just want to do nothing. I take that back I want to sleep. I don't have any energy for anything. Poor Rusty is bored out of goard b/c he can't really do anything for another few days. If you think about please it pray for us. Thanks...